'Twas the Night Before ReBoot

'Twas the night before ReBoot, and all through the 'Net,
Not a binome was stirring, not even Frisket.
The icons were hung by the I/O with care,
In hope that new updates soon would be there

The game sprites were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions on data-chips danced in their head.
With Dot in the Diner, and me with my Glitch,
The incoming game would be won with no hitch.

When out on the Baudway, there arose such a mayhem,
I jumped on my hoverboard to check out the problem.
Out of the diner, knowing not what to find,
With Enzo and Frisket and Dot close behind.

Then, what to my Guardian eyes did appear,
But that virus, Megabyte, and his sister quite dear.
With hundreds of binomes, all ready to bash,
And his faithful servants, ol' Hack 'n' Slash.

"Now Viral Binomes! Now Nibbles! Now Bits!
The Principal Office must be put on the fritz!
Bring me Command Com and put him off-line!
The sooner you do, then Mainframe is mine!"

"Hold it right there", I countered back.
"This is one system that *you* won't attack!"
But Megabyte said, "Oh, Guardian Bob,
I've got the right virus for doing the job."

"This should be easy! I'll get you in!",
Said Hexadecimal, with her maniacal grin,
To which I replied, "I don't THINK so!
I'm here to make sure that the two of you go."

Just then, a Vid-window opened right up,
And there was old Phong, looking quite shaken up!
"Bob!", he said, "We've got a problem down here!
Core energy's dropping way too fast, I fear!"

As Megabyte laughed, and Hex just the same,
Then I did hear, "WARNING! INCOMING GAME."
As the game cube descended, Megabyte muttered,
"You won't win *this* time!", and all of us shuttered.

But as the game cube landed a-light,
I saw that it was all shiny and bright!
And when I rebooted, it made me bright, too,
As if we were *all* shiny and new!

Then Hex and her brother started screaming in pain,
"Our attempts to take over are falling in vain!"
And to dust they did turn, to blow away clean,
Not a trace of a virus so nasty and mean.

I tried to decipher what had happened just then,
When suddenly I was faced by two suited men.
"My name's Norton", the first said with glee,
And the other one stated, "I'm McAfee.

We're engineers of system utils,
We repaired your sectors and healed your ills,
Purged all your viruses, and cleaned up your drives."
"Thank you", I said, "You've saved many lives"

"You'll never need deal with that viral slime,
We're fully installed and run all the time!"
And then they departed, and I started to sob.
"Guess it looks like I'm out of a job!"

--Kevin G. J. Freels, 1998

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