Go Home
I realize it's a bit early for a Christmas list, but one can never wait until the last minute these days. I've been very good this year, so I think that what I want is not outrageous. Plus, the things that I want are a little unusual and hard to come by, so this will give you that extra time to see if you can get them.
First, Santa, I want television the way it's meant to be. This doesn't mean I want all Sesame Street. No, what I want is a little more mechanical. There are so many things that are wrong with the way TV is set up, I just want it fixed. For instance, I have a television at home, and it's a pretty normal set-up. The TV is a pretty nice one, cable-ready, 181 channels, stereo sound. But I have two remotes. Why? Because I have to have a "converter" box on my cable system for all the neat channels like HBO or Showtime. So that means I have a TV that gets 181 channels, and it's always set on channel three! Why do I need 181 channels when I can only use one of them?!? Can't they make a TV with a converter built in so all I need to do is call the cable company and have them program what I pay for? So I want a TV with that.
And while we're on the subject of cable TV, that's my second item. I want a cable TV company that gives me what I want, or at least another I can go to when they don't. Despite all the laws, cable companies are still a monopoly, but not like the power company. It's so different from one to the next, that all their offerings are different. And they have this "honor among thieves" that they won't step on each other's territory. So what happens is that I get what they want to sell me, and at an outrageous price, instead of what I want at an affordable price. And they won't broadcast some new networks because the networks charge them, instead of those ridiculous home shopping channels which pay the cable companies. I've been thinking about those new-fangled satellite dishes, but they're expensive, and I can't get local channels where I am, then. So, Santa, I want a new cable company, or at least a way of getting what I want on TV.
Next, I want people to behave. I see people on the BART train all the time, eating and drinking, all while sitting underneath a sign that says "No Food or Drink"! I see them smoking while standing next to a "No Smoking" sign. And the worst is the grafitti artists. I think that if they're going to carve their name out on the glass windows of the trains, they should have the word "BART" carved out on their forehead if/when they get caught. But they never get caught. So, St. Nick, I want those people who are rude and inconsiderate on the BART trains to get caught, and the punishment should fit the crime. If they grafitti, they should be branded. If they litter, they should pick up trash and clean toilets. and if they eat on the train, they should work in a food kitchen. I think a way to do it is to put the police on trains, just like the signs say they are. I have traveled for a year-and-a-half, and I have seen police on the trains on three times in the afternoon. And NEVER, in the morning.
My next wish is for our country, Santa. I would like the politicians to do their job. Unfortunately, they're all out campaigning for their next job. So they are never around to do the one that I am paying them for. I view it this way: If I were working for you, and I told you that I would be gone for two or three days each week to interview for jobs at other companies, but I still expect to get a full salary from you, oh, and I expect to still have my old job waiting for me in case nobody else hires me,... would you want me as an employee? So, Santa, I would like to have three months before the election where the candidates could do whatever campaigning they want or need to do. They don't have to work (except, of course, in an emergency), and they could campaign, and travel, and speak 'till they're blue in the face. Knock themselves out. But if any of them decided that they needed to campaign before that three months period, they should banned from running for office for that particular election. And this includes "mud-slinging".
Thanks, Santa. Fly safely.
Your friend,
....kevin